Do your personal sufferings have meaning? I think yes – but that meaning is likely unknowable in the short term. Perhaps a type of micro-nihilism is appropriate. Give time and thought to to understanding the world at large – God, emotion, meaning. Your own problems? Mark them as meaningless.
Self pity (both deserved and contrived) will come but don’t dwell on it. Save nihilist tendencies for your own troubles – don’t let them invade the world at large. It is a mistake to allow you own suffering to lead you to believe all of life is meaningless. Too much self-reflection is rightly deemed prideful.
Everything is under God’s control. Don’t believe in God? Ok. The universe has order. Don’t fall too hard for the idea of chaos. Chaos Theory is valid but it breaks down when you try to define actual randomness. Proving the existence of randomness is hard. It’s not a popular belief but I think our universe is very likely deterministic – one big chain of events of which even the chaotic events can be explained if one could follow the chain at that quantum level. True randomness and chaos require extra-dimensional input. They lead us back to either the supernatural or some form of multi-verse commingling (do parallel universes bump up against each other and leak into each other?)
A deterministic universe doesn’t bestow meaning, however perhaps it does give inevitability that you should find a form of strange comfort in. To be clear, my own believe is in a God that is in control (even if you choose to see him as the simulation master in a holographic fake universe). God has a righteous reason for everything that happens.